doctor_claw

The following message is the result of an ICON MEME.

If you wish to participate, reply to this entry with the message "ICONS!"

I will then reply with the tag names of six of your user icons, and in an entry on your page, you discuss the reason or meaning behind them.

Here are the ones selected by darksakura:


Even Sakura Can Get It: Prior to her appearance in Street Fighter IV, Sakura was strangely exempt from all attempts at nosepushing. This icon (which was based on a funny-looking animation cel owned by darksakura is meant to exemplify what would happen were her nose actually pressed.


Just Come Running To The Doc: This is a picture of Herbie Hancock most likely taken for promotional material for his 1978 Sunlight album, in which he sung songs through a vocoder. Sunlight happens to rank in the top 3 of my favorite Herbie albums ever, for this reason, though jazz critics were not very much impressed by it. The title of this icon comes from my favorite song from the album, "Just Come Running To Me", which really ought to be ranked among Herbie's best compositions from a purely instrumental perspective.


Artist's Rendition: This was an image that was donated to me, from one who had used some "icon maker" application that was popular at the time. I thought it did look like me (or rather, the virtual "avatar" of myself) at the time, and it looked like I was pressing someone's nose, hence the name.


Piccolo Word: "Piccolo Word" is a term within The People's Lexicon that means "Bullshit". The reason why it is called "Piccolo Word", is because tarendol, who is known as "Piccolo" within our circles, was known for saying the word so much, especially around the time the term was created. Apparently, he was inspired by a comedian who said the word in a very spirited tone.

Why this image, instead of one of Piccolo from Dragon Ball is used, is because it was also customary, that when saying the "Piccolo Word" as Piccolo was known to do, you also had to throw something (this, was taken from a scene in the movie Wall Street where Charlie Sheen's character shouted "BULLSHIT!" while throwing a beer bottle against the wall).


A Real American Hero: It goes without saying that G.I. Joe was a show that I spent a lot of time watching as a child; after watching Shout! Factory's box set, I realized that I remembered much more of this show than I did The Transformers. In any case, my favorite character on the show was the wise-cracking Alpine (followed closely by the original enemy of deodorant, Beach Head). Next to him is my favorite female character of the show, Lady Jaye (who I noticed, was in the most compromising positions of all the female characters on the show). In this modified screen cap, it looks like he's kicking some G.I. Game to her, which is what I would have done given the chance. I'm not afraid of an E-6. Now an E-8 (Duke) or an O-anything (Hawk), maybe.


What did you just SAY?: Those who have actually seen the face of Dr. Claw, know that I have a flair for being quite animated with my facial expressions. In this picture, Morris Thorpe from The White Shadow, my "avatar" of the moment, makes one of the faces I'm known to make when I hear or see something particularly shocking.

Until next time,

Dr. Claw

When I read another observant op/ed piece about the systematic attempts to delegitimize/demonize our current President, I find myself swirling down a rabbit hole of thoughts about the other times that this has happened. Even with the last president, someone of whom I was absolutely no fan to start (and even less so when his administration lead the charge into Iraq for no good reason), I've noticed a very common pattern and point of comparison in every case: apparently Adolf Hitler and the Nazis are the end all/be all of evil in history.

Now, I'm going to warn you right now: this entry may meander quite a bit.

( However, if you decide to TL;DR this, you can suck on the barrel of a handgun. Or my balls. Whichever you prefer. )

There is some danger to this, however. The more you prop someone up like this -- the more easily people are manipulated and shaped by images that are largely inaccurate, and at times, harmful. Sometimes increasing one's sensitivity to certain images has the same effect as desensitizing them -- it's detrimental to the healing process of all. Thankfully, as the lives of a generation have passed, people today tend to think of Germans as those wacky European people who drink all kinds of beer, drive on crazy highways, speak with funny accents saying funny words like "Scheiße", and make some of the coolest cars on Earth -- instead of Hitler and "Nazzies".

Still, I can't help to think sometimes, if we'll ever get over Hitler as the end-all/be-all. Other attempts to recast the "great evil" have failed. I suppose, one benefit of this "deification" has been that no one else in history thus far has dared repeat such the disgusting acts of his regime to such a degree and with such visibility. Every now and then, however, it'd be nice to get out of this whole "good versus evil" bit for once. It's almost never that easy.

Thinking about it way too much,

Dr. Claw

This won't be a particularly long entry.

However, since I can't quite embed the video on this page, I will point you to a piece from Bill Moyers' Journal linked on another site, that while not too surprising, it still makes me laugh in light of all the protests and mobbing going on nowadays.

The short of it: The guy whose organization is putting together the effort to getting all these people to join "tea party" protests to shoot down the federal government's latest effort to offer a health care program for everyone... is actually benefiting from government health care (i.e. Medicare), and has been on some sort of government-run program for most of his adult life. Not to mention, he's probably got more money to his name than all the people who showed up for the "tea party" combined.

Watch this with me, and prepare to be disgusted.

I find it funny that many who attended the tea party, and the media figures that fuel/help to shape their political views often deride the "liberal media", however one will be hard pressed to find a segment like this on ABC, NBC, CBS, or any of the cable news networks. While I find Moyers's piece rather neutral and fact-oriented, this would be classified by many "conservatives" as "loony lib prattle" by virtue of the subject being discussed.

The truth is, the media is not so much "liberal" as it is "sensationalist". Here in Cleveland, for example, the news department at Channel 19 is notorious for making tabloid fodder the central point of their broadcasts. Just today, I saw a piece on how a mayor of an area town allegedly crossdresses. The story was posted on Youtube, and right on cue was one of these wingnut dillweeds talking about how "libs" are the dregs of society in the comments.

If this is the "America" these jabronis are fighting for, they can have it.

Hoping someone knocks down this Dick Arm(e)y (No Mo),

Dr. Claw

You know,

I feel somewhat conflicted about the idea of attacking someone's value system or their personal beliefs. Compared to some industrialized nations out there, Americans still have it relatively good, when it comes to freedom of expression. The fact that I could spend the Bush years talking about how much his administration was run by asswipes is something I just couldn't do in a place, like say... China (whose government actively firewalls many websites). It's easy to take something like that for granted.

However, I have to say this: those who identify as "conservative" but are really using the term to blanket their ignorance have gone too far. I wouldn't care so much, if these asswipes weren't so goddamn influential. However, I've slowly been watching these turds set the agenda for President Obama in a way that is just outright disgusting.

This goes beyond the healthcare "debate" (quotes for a reason); it's the fact that a group like ACORN, who specializes in a limited range of community services for the underprivileged, can get their (comparatively) meager federal funds cut all on account of a movement of idiots. Yes, I said "idiots"; if you think ACORN is the reason why everything bad that is going on in the country now, the term "idiot" is putting it nicely. Hell, even "turdnugget" is putting it nicely.

So much money is being funneled toward big-time corporate interests (something I recall was a talking point in the last Presidential election) that it's gone so far under the radar it might as well be accepted. However, it's not acceptable. The U.S. military has been fighting wars that are, with every passing day, looking more and more like a cash grab for those contractors (such as Halliburton) than a means of protecting our soil. Yet, those who raise any kind of stink about it are seen as "fringers", radicals, anything but a patriot.

Often I hear the more base proponents of the tripe that's driving these "teabagger" and "anti-tax" (or rather, "anti-Obama") movements gripe about an imaginary move of America to a welfare state. For some reason, whenever I speak to these individuals, I feel as if they are ignoring the fact that some of our most wealthy entities in the country are living on a sort of welfare. When the banks were crashing, I feel it was an opportunity to finally do right.

However, I think this will end up being a point at which America will look back and be like "WTF". Ever notice that the opposition forces in the U.S. Government and on Fox News never say anything about it, as much as they want to discredit Obama? I think that they, too, know who their real masters are.

Before this degenerates into a dismissible conspiracy theory, I'd like to remind people something of a very scary thing -- the fact that someone such as Glenn Beck, a person who at times makes Dale Gribble seem sensible, wields so much influence, or the fact that someone like Sarah Palin, who turned off many "right-leaning" voters because of her willingness to pollute the national dialogue with more than your usual mix of FUD wields so much influence, or the fact that Rush Limbaugh can even get the chairman of the Republican National Committee (Michael "The Joke" Steele) to kiss his ass at any whim.

These people more or less actually got a couple thousand people to go march on Washington for reasons that amount to gibberish, just to show the President that they think he sucks. Yeah, there's a common reason that they're uniting, but you won't pluck a coherent political message out of the group. These people have been disrupting "town hall" meetings, a gesture meant to somehow bring people together, with their divisive rhetoric. All because these people are getting airtime and are repeatedly legitimized in the press and whatnot.

My mother once scolded me for saying that I "hated" anything, but I really think I do hate this "conservative" movement. It's done nothing but oppress over the last 40 or so years. The most numerous alternative, the erroneously branded "liberals" in Congress (most are center-right...they kowtow to the status quo more often than not, but lean slightly left when needed), can't seem to put up the fight needed to silence these guys for the duration.

It's very telling that the Democrats can't really do Cid Word against this bullshit. That Obama must concede, concede, and concede when Jimmy Carter makes a very salient point about the reason why he's being attacked. It's simple: the "conservatives" still have a death grip on the power structure in America. I use the quotes, because the power structure is less about coherent political points, and more about holding power, and abusing it whenever it suits them. It won't be long before the veil is lifted from the American oligarchy at this rate.

At the same time I am thankful that the USA is a "democratic republic", because if we were truly one-man, one-vote, we'd be at the mercy of these Palinites who seem content to distract the national focus from its most harmful elements, all in the name of maintaining power. This is not to say that the ignorant among us are not entitled to their vote... I just wish they weren't so numerous and so easily influenced. If only someone could break through and really point some of these people to where the problems really lie.

After watching this...



...I think I want to vomit.

Earlier today, I read an article about the unfortunate state of the town of Wilmington, Ohio, which was more or less gutted by the exit of DHL. The entire town hung its hat on DHL (perhaps unwisely), and now that it's pulling out of the town, there's no real reason to live there. I drive down the Ohio Turnpike often to get to Pittsburgh and other places, and somewhere around the GM plant in Lordstown, Ohio, I see rows of "cool" houses on either side of Interstate Highway 76, which covers that part of the Turnpike, some miles away from the plant, where right next to it, you see mobile homes and a more modest living. I often wonder who lives where... and what life must have been for this area before they began to depend on one big ticket like the plant.

A whole section of this nation is going down the tubes, rendered useless not only by the economy in general, but because of the things with which the corporate sector has been allowed to get away by the U.S. Government. These are some items beyond even the President's reach. Yet, people only seem to care every four years to vote and make their voices heard.

People ought to be more concerned about America's slow roll into becoming a banana republic, rather than "Boogeyman" czars, imaginary socialism, and Kanye West interrupting a little nosetarget during a silly awards show, I tell you what.

Wondering about our future generations,

Dr. Claw

Ok, that last entry? Forget everything I said in it from an "attempting to be rational" perspective.

This hysteria over the President talking to kids is pretty much boiled down to disrespect borne of that good ol' southern (and northern)-fried 'CISM.

It can't be anything else.

Sure, some "conservative" websites are trying to remind us that those evil liberals led by Storm Trooper Gephardt in 1991 tried to make a political spectacle out of George H. W. Bush (aka "Old Bush") doing the same (and for the record, THAT was bullshit for Gephardt to do)... but like I said about the politicians raising a fuss about it, it's expected behavior from an opposition party.

That doesn't explain the mass hysteria from a certain "concern", mostly parents groups or political action committees masquerading as such. No, I seriously believe people are just upset beyond politics and have taken it to the most superficial part of what makes the President who he is, namely his skin color.

'CISM. It's bullshit. Because their opposition to the guy has zero substance, zero specifics, so it just goes back to that (very likely) source.


Now, as many did last night, I see this peanut butter and jelly shit during the Presidential Address:



Of course the motherfucker had to be from South Carolina. (Sidebar: LOL @ Nancy Pelosi giving him the same look The Frau gave me in German class when I slipped up and said "Scheiße".)

It's no longer a secret anymore; I used to live there for 13 years of my life, and in many ways I'm glad to have lived there, especially during that period of my life, relative to my now adult life.

But I tell you what, the ruling class and erstwhile representatives and mouthpieces of South Carolina sure knows how to shoot themselves in the foot and extend the life of the embarrassment that continues to be its public existence.

From Miss South Carolina's infamous gaffe, to Governor Mark Sanford, and now Good Ol' Boy Joe Wilson, the heckler in the above video.

Then, you see another South Carolina congressman, namely, one of their senators, Lindsey Graham actually about to applaud Obama, then remembered the cameras were on him, and then he stopped. Later on, he delivered a bullshit partisan message after the fact, as if he rememebered Cobra the GOP owned his soul and it was time to pay the soul tax.

If nothing else painted him as the picture of a pussy, his actions that night did. This from the guy who had a post-9/11 Bush all in his political ads when he was elected the first time around, but made sure to stand so far away from Bush when it came time for a re-up. I imagine his counterpart, Jim DeMint, the successor to South Carolina's Most Conspicuous Fail Of The Last 50 Years, Strom Thurmond, came off the same dillweed assembly line.

If South Carolina excels in anything, it's assholia of the highest order. Maybe they should put that on the welcome signs when you cross the border -- "Welcome To South Carolina, Where Assholia Is Born". Instead of Pedro and his sombreros at South of the Border, you see Good Ol' Mark, smoking a cigar, wrapped in the flag of Argentina, waving to you from the Statehouse.

It's bullshit. Bullshit.

Suddenly feeling that (his adopted state of) Ohio seems less of a screwup of a state,

Dr. Claw

I have stalled in commenting on such things for the longest, but the stack of false controversies regarding the current President of the United States is getting ridiculous.

I think I might have said a little something in the past about the absolutely worthless "Tea Party" demonstrations that were popping up across the country, and how it made those who participated in these large condemnations of the President as a "evil, socialist, subliminal-message dropping Hitler reincarnate" whose primary function is to "redistribute wealth", unfairly penalize the wealthiest, and so on and so forth look more like a bunch of douchebags who enjoy getting teabagged... or to be less cryptic, a bunch of lemmings that eat their Fox News Flakes in the morning and do whatever their lord and master Sean Hannity tells them to do in the name of almighty "conservatism", whatever that means in 2009.

( For you dillweeds who aren't of the TL;DR/Colin Powell lot...click ahead. )

The most troubling part of these non-controversies, is how obviously dishonest these people have gotten in their path to discredit Obama and really, anyone else who seems to want to do something about these pressing issues. They don't even try to put a veil over the 'cism or the lies either; it's all become a case of "we know this is a lie, but we're going to tell it to you anyway, because it makes you feel better, you gullible idiots". It's amazing what a little bit of the... (ugh) butthurt after a loss has done to one faction of people in the country.

I dunno about you, but that's just wrong. I know the word "moral" has lost its meaning after so many people have perverted its use in the last 40-50 years, but this kind of thing is really morally bankrupt. In times like these, we don't need more bankruptcy. We need more recovery... and this flappin' about nothing isn't going to do anything.


Not surprised, but still disappointed,

Dr. Claw

(UPDATE: Not long after I wrote this, Van Jones, holder of some strange "green jobs" position in Obama's administration quit his job, no due in part to a good ol' Fox News smear job. LOL.)

Ok, so I lied.

I never pretended to understand the appeal of reality TV. After the second season of The Real World on the MTV and that damnable Tami "It wasn't not funny" incident, I was pretty much done with that peanut butter and jelly shit the lazy folks in television serve up to the masses.

However, when in the middle of AIMing someone that is kind enough to open the door to my echo chamber every now and then, I was tipped on to this ABC program entitled Dating In The Dark. The title says it all. People "date" in this special room where they can't really see each other, and the people who put it together calculate how compatible the daters are, and after finally being be able to see their potential mate...or date, or whatever, they decide to either meet their match on the balcony, or walk out the front door (where the rejected party can see them bail out).

Just what we needed to warm our collective hearts, a group of roody-poo adults in that 25-34 bracket revisiting the glory days of high school.

So on the episode I watched, there were three dudes -- all about 30, one was divorced, and kind of a douche, the other dude was cool, but his lack of height was holding him back, and the other guy was well enough off, might have had some strange habits.

The women? Well, you got a 24-year old, short-fused, smart-mouthed little... something -- she's a yoga instructor (Gina). A blonde something or other in her mid-late 20s, who was more than little guarded (Deann)... and a redheaded jewelry designer, clocking in at the oldest at 28 (Renee), who at first glance shouldn't be the type to resort to reality TV to find a date, but after a while...it becomes readily apparent.


The three suspects participants: (L-R) Renee, Deann, Gina.

I dunno about you, but to me, Renee (the redhead) kind of made me think of...

All the while, I was waiting for her to spin a leek stalk somewhere in the episode.

So she's already got one mark of Claw-bait to her name. As the show progressed, one could see she was operating from a place of (perhaps not-so-distant) hurt, her vulnerability was rather thinly veiled, she would most likely never meet a man that would fit her standards, and (I'm not making this up), she wears long flannel sleep pants to bed. Those factors together made her a perfect candidate for ol' Dr. Claw to swoop down and prey on her, were she to actually exist within my personal space. She at least fills the profile.

I'm not proud of that fact in the least; Renee fits the profile of those I "targeted" back when I had the means and options to do so. Knowing what I do now, a woman such as Renee can only be on a slow but steady track to Ellsville. As for the other two, Deann was whatever -- sort of a good match for the douchey divorced dude who seems to have had a more than inflated sense of self-appraisal, and Gina.... is what we call the anti-Claw. If you're into fiery little dingbats with smart mouths, more power to you. Me? I probably would have cussed her out at the first opportunity.

So, in the end, Gina, showing that she was every bit of 24 years old, rejected her would-be dude for his facial hair among other things (saying that he looked like he was 40, and she couldn't see someone like that atop her; ironically, envisioning anything or anyone atop her is laughable), Renee made a tearful (yet cowardly) dash from her would-be mate, further highlighting her inability to form an emotional bond with someone else, and ... the whatever blonde ended up with the douche in the end. YAY!

That sucked. And not just because it seemed so fake, but, because... after watching it, it reminded me of how fucked some of us are in the game. It is what it is, but I'm not sure if it's cool to have it all out there on TV. Even if it is most likely staged.

Beyond the general creepy premise of the show, if you haven't watched this show, you probably won't be missing anything you don't already know. I left a lot of the details out, since there's probably a better recap of this show elsewhere on the Net.

I think it'd be cool if they had one of these shows devoted to bringing the Renees of the world out of their shells; there probably is, but I can't be bothered enough to look for it. That's what I have The People for.

Pondering his vulture like ways,

Dr. Claw

People,

I apologize for my brief respite of sorts; there's more going on on the macro level in the Claw world than I care to detail. However, in my retreat, I've been asked/texted/IMed by many, my opinion on the fact that my favorite NFL football team signed a very controversial backup quarterback: namely, one recently reinstated (with pending suspension) Michael Vick.

Those who didn't get an immediate answer, know this, because it is a rarity you'll hear such a thing:

I support the move of the Philadelphia Eagles in signing Michael Vick 100%.

And if you don't like it, well you can SUCK MY BALLS --

-- in no uncertain terms.

( And here's a few other things that you can suck on... )

Now, for those of you that are still righteously indignant... you want to be mad at someone? Be mad at Brett Favre. Favre hasn't committed any crimes, unless you consider shitting on the fans of both the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings simultaneously, while also pulling the strings of media puppets to follow his each and every move like a reality show crimes. When I was in high school (yes, that's how long Brett Favre has been playing football), Brett Favre was the man. As he aged, he became more of a joke (with John Madden and Joe "Fuck Ass" Buck praising him like he was some deity, despite the fact he threw just as many interceptions as touchdowns in the name of "fun"). His stint with the Jets was as unforgivable as it got (though admittedly, I was hoping to see who Madden would "praise" more... Tom Brady or Brett Favre last season); but this shit with the Vikings is just evil.

Fuck you Brett Favre, for making me root for the Packers (apologies to kurisuu); I hate the fact that fans of the Vikes basically are being told to root for the once-bane of their existence, due to the fact the dude just can't seem to hang it up. If the NFL weren't such asswipes about jersey customization, I would have already gotten a Vikes #4 jersey with the name "DILLHOLE" on the back now by now.

Brett Favre is a shining example of how the coverage of sports is all the way fucked up. So is Michael Vick, but everyone talks about Vick; hardly anyone mentions Favre (outside of his dedicated haters).

In closing:

If you TL;DR-ed this entry: SUCK MY BALLS.
If you have a problem with what was typed, even under the cut? SUCK MY BALLS.
And finally, if you are a fan of the Cowboys and/or Patriots... you know what you can do.


Thank you and good night; the next time around, I'll post about something less...controversial, like iPod devices that are actually useful and fun with DIY car stereo installation.

With love,

Dr. Claw

If the title seems cryptic to you, then maybe it should.

The "Lakewood" in question is the name of the town that I called home for the first few years of my life. It is but a tiny blip on the GPS and a speck on the road atlas, but ever since I had left it, that heavily-romanticized place remained in a heart that eroded ever so little with each passing day. Much like the Autobots who pined for their home planet of Cybertron, I kept looking toward that New York footnote as if I had left it too soon.

The last I saw my "home", it was shortly after I had come to my newest home (of almost six years), back in the fourth quarter of 2003. Before that, 1994 -- where it was a shadow of the quaint little town I had known as a child. In that nine-year span, NY/PA Route 17, which connected that little place to the outside world had been upgraded to an interstate highway, and much of the town's outer appearance had been rehabilitated. The mall in which I used to get lost all the time had even been revived. Though, one thing I had noticed, is that despite the changes, a lot had stagnated. This was not a place where the adult Dr. Claw would probably want to call home, if he had the choice. Which adds further to the amazement that my mother and father had made that move way back when.

Just like that, I put aside one of the lingering memories of my childhood.

This past week, with the passing of celebrities I saw on my television on the regular during those simpler times, coupled with Michael Bay's latest hedonistic trampling on one of my old favorites (to embarrassing effect, even: two Autobots that make Amos & Andy look like Malcolm and Martin in comparison?!), I saw the rest of that time just wash away into nothingness.

Granted, I'm an old hand as it is, but just like everything else, it seemed so soon.

I don't think I can put into words, where the biggest symbol of that time, Michael Jackson stood in my own personal arena. I remember being very much more gravitated to Stevie Wonder (and Herbie Hancock) in that era, but Michael was like on a total different plane. I wasn't sure how Mike got there as a kid, but on an anecdotal level, I eventually learned. What he meant to a generation that wasn't used to seeing kids like him on television, or hearing them on the radio even, can't be duplicated. I don't really expect people outside of that particular in-group to understand, so I won't bother explaining it here. I do, however, wrinkle my nose disapprovingly and silently judge those in my age bracket, who seem more accepting of inferior production-line copies of MJ, though. I've also had to show extreme restraint at some of those annoyingly contrary types that always seem to pop up at times like these in "griever" mode, focusing on the negative, the speculated, and what not. Those types really bring out the latent fascist in me, I tell you what. In any case, I had held out (somewhat vain) hope that the story, as tragic as it had turned, would end differently.

What I could write about the man, has probably been said all over the Internet at this point. So instead, I will share something that I think spoke more to the "real" Michael Jackson than the moonwalking, the rhinestone gloves, and the other weird stuff to which he is attributed. This song, released in 1978 while still with his family group The Jacksons on the album Destiny, was one of the most personal songs he ever wrote or sung. It is simple lyrically, but stands out from other "woe is me" songs in his catalog. It really does seem like a cry for help that went unanswered.

"That's What You Get (For Being Polite)" - Link Here

Sometimes I wonder, if people were listening then, if he could have been taken off the path that he eventually walked.

I once compared the events of this past week to that infamous scene in the real Transformers film where a tearful Daniel is told not to grieve by a dying Optimus Prime. Now, I'm thinking it to be more analogous to a more obscure scene in Transformers history: in the Japan-only Headmasters series, where the Transformers' home planet of Cybertron is destroyed as part of Scorponok's grand plan.

There was no going back then, as there's no going back now.

I don't know what comes after this, but it's up to us to make sure that it's a good thing. Even though what we held dear is gone, there are still many objectives to make sure we meet. Many threats yet to take out.

As went Cybertron, so went Lakewood.

Retreating once more,

Dr. Claw

The title of this entry is adapted from a quote that was hilariously applied on an Internet message board by one on my Friends List; yet, I can't think of any other way to describe the feelings I've been having as of late.

With each "up", there about several "downs" for no good reason.

I can only think of a few times in my life where it has been like this; most of the year 1991 comes to mind, although it was understandable as it was the year my mother had passed. Another such time was the fall of the year 1995, a year to which I make cryptic reference in this journal through user icons and whatnot. What I remember most about that year was a typical youth-related angst, but also apprehension about some changes that I had sensed in my periphery as it pertains to family life and beyond. By all means, 1995 should have been one of the best years of my young life, and in some respects it was. However, I can only think nowadays that a good deal of that year and what had followed was an abject failure.

It's 14 years ago, there's no going back to that; however, I think despite more or less walking the straight and narrow with a few dances on the sidelines ever since to my current lot in life, those missteps have cost me dearly. All this despite being in a job that's perfect for me in many ways, which in turn has allowed a situation in which my being is ever so fortunate. On the surface I look like where I should be right here and now, to those who have known me for years. Internally, I look at the world around me, then back at myself, and I feel that it is all a bunch of nonsense. Bullshit, if you will.

Soon it will be July, and I'll be taking vacation again, which I usually think is the cure to ills such as these, but as was the case when I went back "home" a couple months back, seeing the reality of things there put me in a state that had me thinking hard about where I am, and how fragile it all seems to be.

There is a side of me that seems all-too-impatient with regards to how things are moving along in life. This was the case after I first moved to my current home. The thought that "it could be worse" rings true, but it isn't comforting in the slightest.

I'm also resistant to "outside" help with my troubles more often than not. In that aforementioned year of '95 (or perhaps the year following) that was attempted, and I more or less rejected it outright. I don't think a retread in '09 would be of any help. I feel as if something is not something I can conquer/resolve on my own, then it is what it is.

Recently, I read some of the past entries of this journal, the stretch between when I first broke my silence, and the first few years of moving. I covered my face, like I tend to do when I hear my voice being played back from a recording. On the low, I can see how some not-so-concerned parties would see that time as a thinly-veiled cry for help. I think it's OK coming from myself, rather than others who don't have my best interests in mind.

Recently, I've been toying with the idea of reading up on local events and sneaking around to them when it's convenient, but I'm not so sure about wasting gas money and time to be the odd man out in public. It's a lose-lose situation.

Perhaps, since I'm going to lose anyway, I should take the path of most resistance, instead of the path of least resistance like I'm used to doing. Maybe things will change that way, even if it is the method of losing.

Out before the lock,

Dr. Claw

It goes without saying that I'm an unabashed Volvo devotee, having been locked in since that fateful day in 1981 when Poppa Claw brought home our family's first Volvo (eventually the first car I ever drove).

However, what most people don't know is that I have always rooted for GM when it comes to the (once) Big Three here in the U.S. The cars of General Motors just looked better than the competition. Ford and Chrysler's cars, in comparison, were just a little stodgy -- especially when it came to those '70s and '80s models I grew up seeing on the roads. The Cordoba/Fake Charger #1? Psssh. Fake version of the Cutlass Supreme/Monte Carlo/Grand Am. Mustang II? Nope. Camaro/"Apu"-issue Firebird all day. Pinto/Whatever lil captive import Chrysler was selling to compete in the Oil Crisis era? LMAO. Cmon, Vega/Astre better. Of course, this bias comes from the fact that Momma Claw's car (the one Poppa Claw ended up driving to/from work everyday) was a '75 Cutlass Supreme. A lot of the family friends were in GM cars as well...they were literally everywhere when I was growing up. As a kid, I memorized the entire product line, and could point them out on the road without even seeing the badges. Hell, the coolest car on TV, K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider, the real Knight Rider, was a Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. Those were the glory days.

Nowadays, GM is all but bankrupt; as I type this, they're gearing up for bankruptcy proceedings. Pontiac, perhaps the "coolest" badge under the umbrella, has gone the way of my favorite GM brand of all time, Oldsmobile. Saturn is going out to deep space. Hummer (LMAO) is sure to follow, and that other Swedish automaker, once under GM rule is on the list to be 86-ed as well. The fate of their brands outside of the U.S. like Vauxhall, Opel, and Holden... one has to wonder if they're going to be around, either. Opel is being carted around Europe for a buyer. This saddens me to no end. However, I don't know if this is all that surprising. GM, at its height, was one of the most overloaded automakers in the country, if not the world.

( A little exposition with some videos and pictures, if you're interested... )

If only someone had whispered to someone high in the ranks thereabouts when it mattered about the overall redundancy of many of their cars, we'd see a stronger, slimmed down GM, with some real purpose to its many brands still intact. Right now, I think that because of all the parties they must appease, they're going to emerge from this wreck a little neutered. Not to mention, they really need to start thinking beyond the age of fossil fuels if they really want to keep the pride of the U.S.A. as far as automaking is concerned intact. We're seeing a little of that with the newest minicars they have coming out of Lordstown. However, that concern is not unique to GM, or even American automakers in general. It's a problem that all automakers (even my beloved Volvo) need to get off their butts and take into account.

When countries such as China actually get a real middle class off the ground and there's a mass market for oil demand, oil prices are gonna be crazy, and I'd hate to see what the automakers do to offset that. Unlike the 1970s, going smaller isn't enough. I'd hate to see another part of my childhood dissipate into memories like those wonderful cars of General Motors seem to be going. On another note, is anyone else a little miffed at how the automakers are the only ones getting the tough love from the feds regarding their "destroy/rebuild" efforts... when the banks need a little less coddling, lest they get hooked on crack again?

Yeah, I thought so.

Letting the Energon flow for our fallen automotive soldiers,

Dr. Claw

So the California Supreme Court upheld the ever-maligned Proposition 8. LMAO.

Never thought I'd see the day where a state where expectations are lowered (Iowa) outfox the state that houses some of the most notorious hippie havens in the U.S. of A on things "progressive". I blame The Governator.

Seriously though, the whole thing kind of conjures up a "WTF" in my mind sometimes. It just goes to show you, that you can't judge a book by its cover.

Which brings me to another musing of mine as of recent: we (that is, we here in the U.S. for those of you reading outside our borders) get our first President of color, and it seems the true colors of those contained within our borders are seeping out every which-a-way. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think these two observations are particularly correlated, but it does make for a rather... shall we say, interesting coincidence.

The political discourse of the "average joe", not that it was ever that sophisticated in the first place, has hit a low I haven't seen in a long time.

On one side, you have those whose scorn toward the apparent decline of the Grand Old Party and the "conservative" ideology in the U.S. federal government has totally clouded the vision of even the most sensible. Enter the April "Tea Parties" across the nation.

On the other, you have a loose faction of most who don't belong in the aforementioned category, held together by the illusion of a political party and a thin "centrist" thread (can't lean too far to the left, lest you be demonized as a capital "L" word, or worst, some strain of a "socialist" and/or "communist").

In the middle, are a bunch of people of varying political leans, some taking a more purist "conservative" lean, some who really are "Marxists", and many who don't let a single political ideology define their ways -- these, sometimes labeled, the pragmatic or the critical thinkers... are also sometimes labeled "political atheists" because they don't choose a side.

There's also a whole lot of people who simply don't give a damn either way (the "atheist" term seems to apply most here).

I don't think that there's really been too much of a good look at the way people think in this very individualistic society all that much; as a result, you have a lot of bandwagoneering that makes the political arena seem more like a football game than anything else. People can't even articulate their viewpoints; it just seems like a back-and-forth akin to war. Each "side" speaks of each other as if they were Decepticons talking about Autobots and vice versa.

Even I get wrapped up in this; I really cringe sometimes when I see and hear the people who are the most visible voices of the "conservative" ideology. Their short-sighted, intolerant ways sometimes shine through all the muck. For example, I was pretty bummed to find out the political lean of one Joey Styles, the voice of ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling, now owned by WWE and a pretty shallow shell of its former self) -- not that he was more a "conservative" as it's come to be known in the modern times, but because he finds it appropriate to put his viewpoint out there by appealing to the Islamophobic, xenophobic douchebags out there by calling the President by not only his first, but his middle name of "Hussein". There's no criticism of his policies, or any of the things he hasn't quite done right... nope, "Hussein" is enough to show one's displeasure. That's disgusting. Can't blame that on being a "heel" -- that wasn't "Joey Styles", but Joey ItalianlastnameIcan'tremember talking.

Any time Elizabeth Hasselbeck and/or Rush Limbaugh open their big ol' demagogical mouths, I cringe. Why are these the people who get to "speak" for that viewpoint more often than not?

Even on something trivial, I cringe; I once read something on the Internet, that from my deluded mind, sounded like it was the lonely pleas of a cute tall girl -- and you know how this ol' daydreamer can get... I decided to take a closer look. When I found out that she might lean a little toward the stuff that makes me cringe sometimes, I actually let out an audible "FUCK!!" of disappointment. It's like finding out a girl you're really into smokes, and you don't like the taste of Virginia Slims on your breath when you're trying to kiss her.

I wonder if there was some lurking Claw fangirl out there who cringed the same way I did, when she saw me lighting up Sarah Palin and tearing our former President a new one on the regular in here, sometimes.

Why does it have to come to this... this binary, "good vs. evil" dichotomy?

Usually, I'd write something like this off as another case of "it is what it fuckin' is", but not this time. We're all in this impending doom together... the least we can do is see the forest for the trees for a few years. Even if we go back to shitting on each other in the end, we owe it to ourselves.

The way we start, is by letting everyone breathe -- the more those wedge issues are taken off the table, the closer we get to seeing the political circus here in the U.S. for what it is... a circus -- a convenient farce of "good versus bad" meant to cloak the heavy hand of the wealthy as it violates our lower intestines, one by one. It might be already over by this point, but the least we can do is salvage what we have left.

You may not like 'em, but you gotta let 'em live, if you want to keep on livin'. All we got is us, when it comes down to the wire. I'm talking to you, California. And you, Oklahoma, and you, Montana, and you, Ohio, and you, Virginia, and you....

Shaking his head,

Dr. Claw

Let me preface this entry with a big "no emo".

On the surface, everything seems A-OK.

The Volvo's running fine. I still have a job -- in fact, I just got word on the raise I'll be getting. I just got back home from seeing some old friends while they were still in sizable distance from me.

Inside, is a different story. I think I've fallen into an unshakable state of sensory overload, which is keeping me from doing the things I need to do. Even as I write, I have music playing, a couple of other tabs in the background running, and the television is on. At work, I find it increasingly taxing to stay on task, and also to stay alert the entire day. The latter is probably due to the fact that I've been staying up late for who knows which reason.

Vacation from it all at this point so I can unplug isn't an option just yet, though it was nice to have an extra day away from the office. There's a strange air of uselessness that shouldn't be near me, given how fortunate I've been in the last couple of years, swirling around my head -- and pushing me into a pattern of nonsense I needn't even entertain. I think it's because years of being a social isolate have finally taken its toll. I've made a bonafide effort this year to go out more often; just this past week I attended a community meeting held by our city council representative, to get a feel for what the others in my area are feeling. I've also managed to relink with the few friends I've made here in recent memory on a few things here and there.

Though, despite all that, I have a general feeling that the proverbial ship has sailed; my opportunity to be at "optimum" level in life has passed. Since the concept was introduced to me, I've taken a bit of interest in the concept of "love-shyness"; as described in various articles and the requisite Wikipedia piece on it, it seems a little extreme for my situation. There are some other aspects of the condition as described, that do make a lot of sense. It's hard for anyone that doesn't deal with me on a very "micro" level to notice any of those particular ticks or behavior patterns in me, but they're certainly there. I don't know how I feel about that.

There are numerous times where I could have gone for the "easy win" and declined; others, where I took the road less traveled and got GUILED -- numerous times where my dumbass fumbled the ball on the game-winning drive due to a lack of confidence, and others, where I just couldn't hold interest beyond a minimum. As far as I'm concerned, the whole record in that regard is an abject failure.

I think my problem (besides general laziness in that regard) is an unwillingness to be social for the sake of being so, unless I've built some degree of familiarity with the parties in question. I can think of a million reasons to go out there, but if I find even one not to put myself out there, I don't even bother.

If I could travel back in time and find the point at which things started to affect me in such a manner -- I would do so immediately, and pull myself out of harm's way. The shit is annoying sometimes.

I think the whole thing's out of my hands at this point; having moved on beyond the point at which many pitch fits and harp all day about their woes, I'm no longer thinking the world at large is pointing and laughing. I'm at the point where I just say what I always say when something's out of my hands (or anyone's, really):

"It is what it fuckin' is".

There was one who used that phrase in a manner that I found comical, but now I just find the whole thing prophetic, universal, even. No doom, no gloom...everything just is.

Perhaps the more I get comfortable with this idea, the less it'll feel like the walls are closing in and I can get back to focusing on the things that matter.

Not as desperate as it might seem,

Dr. Claw

So, almost two years later, I finally sat down, put some of this bountiful free time to use...
...and watched Transformers, as it was re-imagined on the silver screen recently.

It's no secret that when this announced, I, a notorious Transformers super-geek was not enthused. I'm generally not a fan of remakes, especially when they're meant to cash in on nostalgia, and live-action versions of properties that are best known in animated form are almost always crap. The combination of Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, and Paramount Pictures (yep, I'm still mad @ 'em) combined to form a Devastator-like behemoth of dread and lowered expectations from jump. Then as more information about the film leaked out, particularly the robot designs, my "FOH" (Fuck Outta Here) levels went through the roof. When 7/7/07 (which might as well have been The People's Day) came around, I stayed at home. Which I would have done anyway, because I'm a filmophobe. However, when it came out on DVD, I didn't rush to watch it.... until now.

( And The People's Verdict Is Not Quite What You Would Think... )

Rolling out,

Dr. Claw

Usually, the anniversary of my mother's passing is a somber occasion, though I spent it (this past Saturday) this year having fun with some familiar and (some) new faces at a wine and dinner party hosted by an old friend/co-worker.

In the back of my mind, I realize that I've almost spent two whole decades without being able to hear my mother's voice in realtime. For someone my age, that's huge -- were I much older it wouldn't be such a big thing... though, I might argue that the experience has made me feel as if I am much older than I am. Those who have dealt with me for a long time wouldn't be so surprised.

The trip to South Carolina was fun, albeit a little bittersweet. The weather was great (and apparently, back home it wasn't that bad either, until I got back home); downtown Charleston did not disappoint from a "birdwatching" perspective, making me yearn for my days as a sunglassed, long-haired slacker-ass college student. The Computer Science department wants me to come back next year and talk to the students at their expense; not bad for a "corporate"-ass slacker cubicle drone. I finally got to meet up with someone I'd been meaning to see for a while, and had fun meeting the family and pressing babies' noses and all of that stuff. Got to spend some quality time with my father, and the old crew -- mostly spending that time playing Tatsunoko vs. Capcom to no end (Damn that Tekkaman).

Though, despite all the pretty sights and pretty weather -- I saw/heard some things that disheartened me somewhat. I visited a few of the old haunts, and was a little stunned to see how hard the economy had hit them. Opulent subdivisions and high-end apartments sprawling out in places that used to be trees and trailer park encampments lie vacant (and would most likely remain that way). Word was that Bosch, one of the few visibly large employers in the area, just chopped some 200+ jobs. Old money basically is the only money really circulating from residents of the area. Even those in my circles showed signs of desperation trying to hold on. My old home might have changed somewhat on the outside, but it really hadn't internally -- it still knows how to keep up appearances even when hurt is all over the area. This is much unlike my new home, which when things go to shit, there's no hiding any of that.

I can't say what I feel about that, other than -- I fear to see what happens when it all caves in. It's a shame, because if things were really favorable thereabouts, I'd move back in an instant. Even the hostess at IHOP was Claw-bait (of some sort). At worst, you'd have to deal with hurricane season yearly. If only they had a real business base there, people would flock thereabouts.

Oh, and there was a state trooper in my home state of Ohio that was being a real douche en route to SC... but we don't need to talk about that PB&J.

I realized a couple other things... I don't know if I can keep doing that damn 11+, almost 12 hour drive down there, even if it is once a year. That shit is murder on my right leg. Not to mention, I was really screwed up trying to go back to work the next day after all of that and the usual stuff you do when you get back home.

Being back home was somewhat of a relief. Even though I was mentally out in space for the three days of my work week, I felt some kind of strange solace in the dreary weather, the tight deadlines and demands of the job, and the drop-off in Claw-bait rating in my immediate surroundings. Just to confirm that, I broke hermit convention on Friday night and hit a particularly busy area nearby where I live and took a seat in a rather crowded (and popular) bar. There was Claw-bait to be found, but compared to "home", that rating was pathetic. I also realized that would have been much more fun with someone else in tow (no surprise there).

In typical "Late To The Party" fashion, while at the aforementioned Wine/Dinner party this past Saturday night, I finally got to see The Dark Knight (yeah, I know). That movie wasn't very bad at all. Christian Bale sounds like he needs to take a Batdump when he speaks in the Bat suit, and there's nothing that can be said about Heath Ledger's super-sociopath Joker that hasn't been said already. Even Harvey Dent's transition into the truly gruesome Two-Face was dead-on (even though my mental image of Two-Face will always be from that excellent '90 animated series).

I believe I was most relieved at not seeing a single scene in that film that would never make me watch it again (unlike the Tim Burton-directed Batman films), though there is something to be said about the intensity of the violence within, even if there wasn't much graphically depicted. The directors/writers knew just how to build up enough tension to make you think something horrible was going to happen but then turn away right before it actually shows up. Now that's the way it should be done. I joked that the infamous "disappearing trick" was like watching someone win a match of Street Fighter with crouching weak kick. On an unrelated note, I got a kick out of seeing Morgan Freeman and "Deebo" in the film (no matter what Tiny Lister does, he will always be "Deebo").

Verdict: Masterpiece, despite its flaws; they will never top that film. EVER. GOAT Batman film, could possibly be GOAT comic book related film. I didn't feel like I was getting a "R"-rated film that just didn't happen to have nudity or the "F-Word" within, either. That alone got it 5 M.A.D. Symbols.

I think I feel comfortable enough to watch the crap that is Bay-formers in the near future. Perhaps I'll consult the local Blockbuster Video. 'Cause c'mon, Transformers Animated better.

Don't call it recovering filmophobia,

Dr. Claw

Greetings Friends of LiveJournal,

Beginning with this entry, The Doc, out of respect to The Most Electrifying Free Safety in Professional Football Ever and the inspiration for even thinking about wearing a football helmet in the first place, Brian Dawkins, who was a casualty of cheap post-season management by his one-and-only team until recently, the Philadelphia Eagles, will remove his football helmet and speak as a lamenting Omega Supreme once did with Optimus Prime, in the same manner he spoke back on Cybertron.

It is because I do believe that this particular entry needs a little bit more of a direct approach than some of the others, and perhaps what few I will make beyond this point will require it as well.

As for my personal life, it remains as mundane as ever; however, my paranoia over my recent "backsliding" at the job has proven to be largely unfounded. My annual review resulted in the highest marks one can muster within our system. Part of that I believe had to be because of being proactive in nipping any doubts in the bud. Still, with the pain of my ultimate downfall in 2006 still fresh in my mind, the missteps of some time earlier this year will still ring just as painful. I really do need to stop taking long periods working without some kind of break outside of the weekends, because that plus the dreary weather that plagues the part of Ohio where I live from about November to May can really get to a dude.

I also need to stop being lazy and get out there and see the world I live in; recently, I've noticed the height of my social interaction outside of work has been on the Internet and through regular XBOX Live sessions with yevon and company; which isn't bad, but it isn't really good either for someone where I am in life. In conversations with the aforementioned yevon, I think that somewhere along the line I missed the boat, and I've been trying to catch up in hopes that the boat will dock near me again. 2009 thus far really seems like a "cruise control" year.

That being said, it's back to my "home" of Charleston (and nearby vicinity) in a week from now. As usual, I realize I've got a lot of shit to do in this space that's going to make getting away painful. Hopefully, I'll get to connect with some old, familiar faces when I'm there, and at least get to see my father for a day or two.

Enough about me, though --

I can't remember the last time I posted or what it was about, however, I've noted a very disturbing trend... the mass asswipery that's popped up in the short time since we've had a new president, most recently manifested in a... (don't laugh) series of "teabag" protests across the nation. Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? These motherfuckers are mad because the federal government is reinstating a progressive tax code? It gets even better? These douchewipes are even going so far as to claim that the Obama Administration is inching closer to "socialism"? That's the new buzzword? "Socialism?"

LMMFAO.

I don't think these people know what "socialism" is to rail against it, even if they Googled "Karl Marx" and the word "socialism" they would see that the United States is not even close to true socialism, and if they had a sense of American history, or paid attention, there's always been forces at hand, mostly coming from the big business lobby-type jabronis that are both directly and indirectly influencing the recent strain of "teabaggery" keeping even the hint of socialism as it's defined in the realm of "fringe/hippie wing pipe dreams". If you want me to be honest, this whole hoopla (especially since it's been evident that the forces of Douches United anchored by Newt Gingrich and Fox News-related entities are instigating this stuff) reeks of a little bit of good ol' dog-whistle racism, general anger at who is now our President, and a HEAVY HELPING of the same elite class who cut taxes and spent the U.S. Federal Government into a face-down/ass-up position trying to remain relevant in a time of crisis like they didn't have anything to do with the problem.

Get the fuck outta here.

I can't see a logical argument for this teabag protest as it's defined. This whole ideological objection to "stealing from the rich to feed the poor"? No. This is not stealing from the rich, this is not taxation without representation. This is the elite class whining about an ineffectual tax code that only benefitted them being phased out, and somehow they got the average joe to buy into this tripe.

To quote my old friend Piccolo, "it's bullshit".

And speaking of bullshit -- if people want to protest something that's in the hands of the Obama Administration, why don't they make more noise about how his Department of Justice decided not only to keep the Bush Administration's stance on warrantless wiretapping, but even went further than they did regarding the privilege of "state secrets"? Why not take them to task about the murkiness that was the Financial Market bailout, while letting American industry, the automobile industry in particular, get fed to the sharks of capitalism the way that AIG and company should have been threatened with facing? All this impatience and grumbling and whining about how the Administration hasn't been producing much "change" outside of a smoke and mirrors angle is stupid as hell. Change does not happen from the top down. You think people who are given the keys to the city are going to give them up so quickly?

NO! You have to band together and outnumber them, then take those keys away from them... I bet that's what people thought they were doing with this farce they call a "tea party", but all it did was draw more attention away from what really could be harmful in the news.

Sometimes, people really make me sick.

On another note, since we're on the subject of things that make The Doc a little uneasy, he was recently hipped to a website called Guess Her Muff. I'm not going to link to it, but you can Google it up; you can pretty much guess it's not safe for work, and some of the items within may not be safe for your health. Ok, maybe I might have embellished a bit on that last point, but it really is not safe for work -- like that title would be worksafe otherwise.

I don't think I need to explain the premise of the website, the title says it all. I'm not surprised by such a website being on the Internet, as I wholly expected that a website based around a mental "game" that even I, The King of Prudes, am known to indulge in from time to time would somehow be out there for people to see. I'm also not surprised by much of the results of the guessing game, either. In fact, it's kind of sad that I guessed right about 82% of the time.

I don't know what the hell to think. On one hand, I'm LMAO. On another, I'm shaking my head for several reasons; one, I never understood why people got in the business of sending naked photos of themselves to each other. That might be me thinking from the Throne of All Prudery, but also from a perspective of one who should not leave any evidence behind in your dealings, circumstantial or otherwise. That latter perspective brings me to another point -- have we gotten so self-absorbed in the age of social network sites, blogs, and text messaging that we just throw things into the fire and think later? Also, and I know that some of you women out there who dare to read this journal (and actually Google the site in question) are going to grumble about how the site seems to bear the stench of a bunch of dudes who are using the site to expose former girlfriends (or whatever the hell the kids call them nowadays) out there for who knows what (thankfully, the pictures are anonymous)...and you're absolutely right. The ethical ramifications of such a site seems to be in question.

But I know one thing, the fact that a site can even exist is another sign to me that somehow I think I was born at least 10 years too late. The only thing I really like about living in this era are the technological advances, and ironically, the erosion of some of the puritanism that prohibits people from expressing themselves the way they should be.

But fuck this shit... people disappoint me to no end and make me want to become even more of a curmudgeon.

And with that, I leave you.
I may post again, after I return from (hopefully) sunny South Carolina.

With a glare behind his huge "aviator" frames,

Dr. Claw

PS - LOL @ the Tarheels winning the NCAA Championship in a GUILE. Suck it, DUKE.

Recently, The Doc has been in a state of freefall.
In personal life, on the job, elsewhere.

This winter has been rough on The Doc's well-being; repeated weekends of hard living and lapsing on the ol' exercise regimen has undone a lot of the hard work of late 2007-2008. Though, The Doc will not ever, EVER return to his lowest point if he can help it.

The Doc still has his job, and doesn't feel as if he's going to lose it, thank the Matrix -- but the ghosts of 2006 are haunting him. It's become more than obvious that The Doc is "distracted" on the job; he's been more fatigued because his sleep habits have gotten worse, he's been off the ball compared to what he had done before, and too much time's been spent with "extracurricular" crap.

The Doc is usually anti-social but they need to make a new word for what The Doc has been from December to March. The Doc thinks that particular fact is what's been fucking up everything else. While last night was perhaps a nice departure from the usual fare (not to mention the weather, while still in the 30s or so temperature wise, has been dry and sunny -- which is a nice thing), it's not the norm.

The Doc isn't ready to write it all off yet, but the past month or two has been a rather embarrassing slump. The last time The Doc got caught playing the game from behind like this was in 2006, most demoralizing loss of his life since 1991. It's feeling a lot like that particular game right about now.

In other news, Street Fighter IV is definitely living up to the hype though The Doc has eased off playing for a bit. King of Fighters 2002 Ultimate Match is great. The Doc is still incensed that Brian Dawkins (the base for all The Doc's user icons of the guy in the eyeshielded football helmet) is no longer an Eagle. And finally... FUCK FLORIDA STATE. Punk-ass Criminoles can eat a whole pot of Poop Log Stew.

That's all for now; hopefully the next update will be a little more positive.

Plotting a half-time adjustment,

Dr. Claw

At last, a break from the snow, and a break from everything else.

There are still clouds in the sky though. Hopefully they clear too, and we stay above 35° for a few days more, so all that damn snow will be cleared from the walkways and The Doc can go back walking again.

Clouds notwithstanding, The Doc took a drive up the highway to the Best Buy, mainly just to screw around with the car stereos (even though The Doc isn't going to be replacing his anytime soon). The Doc also wandered into the video game sections, salvaging someone's game of Mario Kart Wii (driving with that wheel is still too weird for The Doc), and watching a couple of little dudes play a Steelers-Patriots game on Madden NFL 09. Wandering into the XBOX 360 section, The Doc noticed something he didn't expect to see sitting on the rack:



The XBOX 360 version of the Street Fighter IV FightPad! Immediately, The Doc snatched one of the Chun-Li controllers off the rack and ran to the checkout.

When The Doc got home, he plugged this controller into the XBOX360 to give it a test drive. Wait, Hadoukens work? Shoryukens work? Not only 360s but 720s work? T. Hawk has a super? WTF is this?

From Street Fighter The Doc went to Soul Calibur IV. Using Mitsurugi, The Doc was able to do his Down+K, B move over and over, and over, every time The Doc attempted it. The Doc would be lucky to get it 1/5 of the time on a stock 360 controller.

On Dead or Alive 4, The Doc still can't get the Raijin to work without some luck, but Hayabusa's Shoko-Izuna (the move where a 360 motion is required very quickly after 2 punches in the air) and La Mariposa's Deja Vu (like the Shoko-Izuna, it requires a 360 motion very quickly after two other inputs) worked nearly every time The Doc attempted to do it.

Thinking that this controller wasn't supposed to be out until Street Fighter IV was released, this was a pleasant surprise. It even helped The Doc win some matches online he would have lost without this pad.

So, how does the new FightPad compare to the Gold Standard of fighting game control pads, the Sega Saturn? Sadly to say, Sega's underappreciated masterpiece of a controller has yet to be topped. However, this doesn't mean the oft-maligned MadCatz's attempt to emulate the G.O.A.T. is without merit.

For starters, the controller itself is crafted with both the Sega Saturn controller and the stock 360 controller in mind. The controller has a rather ergonomic curve to it, but it is not at all "fat" like the PS2/360 Nuby Street Fighter pads. The sides and part of the back side are coated in what seems to be anti-slip, grippy material that is sometimes used on high-end computer mice. The controller is not as "hard" as the Saturn pad, but it's not light at all, and feels quite nice to the touch. From top to bottom, it seems like high-quality material was used on this pad. The buttons, the best thing about the controller, unlike Nuby's pad, are first laid out in the default "Street Fighter" arrangement, and thankfully sporting stenciled, rather than "painted on" labels. The ones on the Nuby controllers would fade sometimes after use. Start, Back, and the XBOX Menu buttons are small, and out of the way of the main six, so they aren't accidentally pressed during play. There are 2 shoulder buttons that cover the "left side" of the stock 360 controller as well. All of the buttons release quickly, so when you press buttons together, they actually register unlike the stock controller. This definitely comes in handy for Soul Calibur IV.

Finally, there's the whole reason anyone ever would even think about buying this controller, the D-Pad. This D-Pad, while not quite up to Sega standards, is miles away from the Nuby controller's counterpart, and so far away from the stock XBOX360 control pad, it's not even on the same planet. Just about any fighting game motion, from a Hadouken, to that Ivy's damnable Summon Suffering is possible with this controller. There are times that the input feels like it whiffs (particularly on moves requiring a diagonal input), but it happens so infrequently, it doesn't affect one's play more than say any other D-Pad (except the XBOX360 stock one, which you have to roll dice to figure out when it's going to work).

About the only true negative one could say about this controller is that this controller is wired, but there's more than enough cord to cover the distance for the average player. This is largely due to the fact that Microsoft is stingy with its proprietary wireless technology, and taking up its license fee would have driven up the cost of this controller in a way that it couldn't even be released. Who knows what the makers of Rock Band had to do to get a wireless guitar. The fault of this is not with Madcatz, rather with Microsoft...

Don't give The Doc that crap about how no one uses the 360 D-Pad, or the analog stick is just as good. The Street Fighter IV FightPad's D-Pad ethers the 360's stock D-Pad in a way that shows that Microsoft really screwed up with their controller and they're loath to actually do something about it, much like them being stingy with their wireless technology.

If you primarily play fighting games on your XBOX360, don't be afraid of the Madcatz label, and pick one of these up. If you're more of a stick fan, the time and care put into these pads seems to indicate that the upcoming arcade sticks will be constructed just as well. As far as the 360 is concerned, this controller shall be the gold standard.

If you own a PS3, assuming that the fight pads are the same, don't hesitate to pick one of these up, either. At least yours is actually wireless!

Peace,

Dr. Claw

Besides the positives of this week, such as the inauguration watched the world over, and finally getting the Korg R3 synthesizer back home much earlier than expected... as of last Monday, The Doc just wanted to kick rocks from the moment he woke up. It wasn't a particularly shining week at work, and it wasn't exactly anything to write home about otherwise; stifling cold and snow everywhere set the tone for this depressing week.

The Doc ate like he shouldn't, and drank like he shouldn't.

In a nutshell, this week was some shit.

In the midst of all this crap, The Doc had a strange conversation with someone at random this week, that led him to think about this whole Internet thing and how it's shaped our lives, The Doc's in particular.

It's a fun place to get information and entertainment at the click of a mouse, but on another hand, it's been a place where people interact in millions of ways. On one extreme you have jabronis killing each other over Facebook status, and on another, you have bonafide romances starting where they would not otherwise. THis week The Doc had a laugh reading about how AOL's Town Square had over time become as we used to say in 1995, "Gay-OL" (back then you could go into Town Square, before it went all West Hollywood on us).

The Doc thought about how online, the simple removal of face and voice from the human element allows one to shape him or herself into what or whoever he or she might want to be. As long as The Doc's been around on the streets of this Information Superhighway, he's become somewhat ...shall we say, expecting of those to not quite be all they say they are.

Many do, but those who don't -- don't surprise The Doc as some might fear it might when they come clean to The Doc. After all, who better to understand one's reasons for adopting a persona for the sake of integrating with an Internet crowd, than old Dr. Claw -- a man, who for years, has been devoid of a face, a name, and only offering scant details about his existence to the majority of those with whom he interacts.

In the earliest years of Internet life, The Doc could say he had a reason for all of that. After all, he was still at "home", and had entities within to protect from any blowback he might receive as a result of normal human interaction over Net servers. Now, it's not so much a necessity, and thus, more has become apparent -- and if not apparent, then it has been implied, by the things The Doc chooses to say and show The People.

However, The Doc can't say that much of his Internet self has been fabricated. He most certainly does originate from a nondescript town by a lake in a rather self-absorbed section of the state of New York, spent some time in the South, then migrated up to a non-descript town in a self-absorbed section of the state of Ohio which just so happens to be by a lake (hence all the $@$$#%%#@$@ snow). He is a Tarheels fan, an Eagles fan, a Blue Jays fan, a Cavaliers fan, and a Sabres fan.He does have an obsession with Volvo automobiles, and a strange attraction to the sounds of yacht rock, vocoders, and the sight of a woman exceeding 5 feet 9 inches tall. He does, also tend to make passes at girls who wear glasses, and throw the controller out the window during particularly frustrating segments of video games such as Mega Man 9 (a game The Doc finally finished this weekend).

It is the case, that when one does end up having to keep up a facade because of circumstances beyond their control, or their own will -- that it soon becomes a maintenance nightmare once people become attached to it; it also makes The Doc wonder if Internet "celebrity" is ever worth all of that. The Internet has become a lot more personal than it used to be over the years. People had to literally roll the dice when becoming attached to one another. Now, with the high-speed, and the Myspace, and the Facebook, and the Twitter, and the bippin' and the boppin'... the kids don't know what the rollin' of the dice is all about, ya see!

Yet, there are some who insist on keeping the "dream" alive...

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Hoping this coming week will be better than the last,

Dr. Claw

Hmm.

It's been five years here. Perhaps The Doc can look into being a Browns fan.
Learning to hate the Steelers, Ravens, and Bengals won't be too hard, and expectations will be perpetually lowered.

Not even bothered,

Dr. Claw